Quotes calendar

Danny Cohen

A sea squirt is a fairly simple creature.  It has a primitive nervous system and brain which is used solely for finding a suitable rock to attach to, to make its home.  Once it attaches itself to its new home, it no longer needs its brain, so it eats it. It's rather like getting tenure.

Adam Carolla

College is just a brothel with a bell tower and a football team.

Skip

"That woman's so annoying, she better be good in bed.  She better be bustin' out some triple-jointed ninja shit."

Regarding a woman out climbing with her boyfriend.

Calculon

Knight Rider's windshield wipers were evil.  It didn't come up much in the show, though.

Craig C.

"The Hemet dollar store is the only one that sells alcohol."

Exhibiting his extensive research into SoCal dollar stores.

Bruce Sterling

"In the 1990s, we produce computers that are high-tech sarcophagi with the working lifespan of hamsters. The contemporary computer industry has the production values, and the promotional values, and even the investment structure of the couture industry. This may be why computers are the first truly arcane technology that has become deeply and genuinely glamorous."

From the February 1997 issue of Communications of the ACM.

Stacey Glenrock-Woods

Like any great politician, the mayor soldiers on, drunk and ball-less.

Alice

Well, at least decapitation is better than moving to Albany.

Dave Attell

The moon is like a whore to an astronomer.  Everybody's seen it, men have been there and driven cars over it…

Dave Eggers

The only infallible truth of our lives is that everything we love will be taken from us.