Quotes calendar

Tim Parks

A test of the extent of your Italianization is whether you still grind your teeth when you hear that something is closed.

Homer Simpson

"Why should we leave America to go to America Junior?"

- objecting to a proposed trip to Canada

Steve Striffler

"We're all Mexicans here"

- The title of a paper featured at a May 2002 conference at Yale entitled The chicken: its biological, social, cultural, and industrial history from neolithic middens to the McNugget

Randall Munroe

"Yeah.  That's how I got kicked out of the ACM in college."

- From xkcd #217

Ted Nugent

"Lance Bass needs to quit worrying about going into outer space and embrace and celebrate life by learning how to kill his own food."

- talking about his favorite former member of N'Sync

Calvin

I'm not going to school any more.  I've decided to be a hunter-gatherer when I grow up.  I'll be living naked in a tropical forest, subsisting on berries, grubs, and the occasional frog, and spending my free time grooming for lice.

John Kerry

"Who among us doesn't love NASCAR?"

- The former presidential candidate, connecting with the people by using their own natural dialect: involuted syntax

Julia

I've seen hookers before, or at least women I was pretty sure were hookers.  But those are like `Why aren't the police here?' hookers.  And I think one of them was pregnant.

Jon Stewart

That comment was not meant to disparage the good, big-haired, and Juicy-Fruit-eating people of New Jersey.

Anonymous

A rustler who's never been chased by a posse thinks it's his right to steal.