Quotes calendar

Julia

I guess that's an advantage to having a peg leg.  You always have wood around when you want to knock on wood.

OG Dave

You know what makes the best sled?  A car hood.  You put a rope on the front and get a couple of friends.  It's like riding the worm in Dune.

Athol Whimp

If you think you're a good alpinist, then you've got to climb hard routes on hard mountains.  Without that, what is the point?  Unless it's really hard, why would you fucking bother?  Otherwise you're just a bloody tourist.

Jon Stewart

Not only did [Teddy Kennedy] lose the boxing match and was forced to sit naked on a block of ice, but it appears his adultlike head is too large for his preschool body.  As he walks, he takes to dragging his head on the ground behind him, like an exhausted Santa.

-- from Claus with the last of his toys

Maddox

Not only is headbutting useful for suicide, it's also a great way to break up with your girlfriend.

Julia

If there's one thing I love about my husband, it's his cripple jokes.

Alice

That's not only the most nauseating thing I have ever read, it's meaningless if r is undefined.

Bart Simpson

I'm a 10 year old boy in Toronto; I should be the happiest kid in the world.

MustardMan (#52012)

When the best your community can come up with is `Who the fuck are you?', it's no wonder the interviewee doesn't do in-depth research to provide a gripping, life changing read. Besides, the guy is known for playing a fucking spider in diapers on a late night cartoon show targeted at a niche audience. Were you expecting Shakespeare?

-- his commentary on the poor interview questions suggested by slashdot readers.  The interviewee was mc chris

P.S. -- According to one interview, the favorite nut of mc chris is the cashew, and not the macadamia as is widely believed

Chris Sierzant

For the past 8 years I've been a Proffesional Rock Climber. I have a 3rd degree black belt in the Martial Art of Choi Kwang Do. I own my own indoor rock climbing gym in Kennesaw Georgia. I can't stand fat people, in fact I hate them. As a generaly open minded individual I have to close my mind on Fatties. They are gross, inconsiderate and a disgrace to the human race. I have a one year old 90lb doberman named Lucifer, he is more important to me than you. I live in my first house on lake allatoona. I was Mr March in the 2002 Stone Nudes calender. I love to curse. I love to get in fights. I won't hesitate to stomp some selfish prick, to the ground, for mouthing off...you'll know it when you've pissed me off, and you'll mostlikely feel it the next day.

-- From his myspace page