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You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.
If you want to win favor with a topologist, a 4-color pen in nonstandard colors is a great gift.
Don't point that at me; it's a laxative.
"That no city can maintain its prosperity without maintaining its roads and water works is the lesson that Rome has bequeathed to us."
-- Unfortunately, it didn't bequeath a natural sentence structure
We may well have Ben Affleck to blame for the downfall of human existence.
How can you feel bad? Someone else is going to pay for our crime!
When people chant your name, it doesn't matter how bald or fat you are. You feel good for a few minutes.
I know this sounds like one of my typical lectures when I don't really say anything but that's not true.
"There are Klingons in the White House. But unlike the real Klingons of Star Trek, these Klingons have never fought a battle of their own. Don't let faux Klingons send real Americans to war. It's wrong."
-- objecting to sending more troops to Iraq
Borscht: it's the great taste of beets in chunky, viscous form.