C. Hoponick

I chewed on my new Bic pen after ingesting a particularly delicious ham sandwich for lunch and could not help but notice the distinct lack of flavor the Bic offers in comparison to smoked ham (with a mango chutney, on rye.) I can recall chewing the cap of a Bic pen a couple of weeks ago after finishing a ham and cheese breakfast omelette, and i was similarly underwhelmed by the absence of malleable ham texture, fragrant smoky goodness, or delectable ham taste.

The Bic is a solid writing instrument, but as a food or as a gum, it leaves something to be desired.

-- from an Amazon.co.uk review of the Bic Crystal ballpoint pen