Quotes calendar

Dave Attell

That's what fear looks like: a man running around with his Don Johnson hangin' out.  And trust me, if you ever see a guy like that running down the street, you run with that man because there is really somethin' scary coming the other way.

Belgian proverb

If you have too much sex before you turn fourteen, you will go deaf.

Vance DeGeneres

As always, technology refused to be dignity's bitch.

Vlad

Once you give up the ideas that teeth should be straight and not discolored, I think you will see that most countries have just as good dental care as America.

Space Moose

Sorry.  The body cavity search at the border kind of jostled things.

Stephen Colbert

[Advice on parenting:] Don’t worry if a rule makes sense--the important thing is that it’s a rule.  Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn’t be learning respect for authority, they’d be learning logic.

Coolio

Coolio do not work for free, let me just say that. Coolio got six children, and Coolio likes nice things.   

--- as quoted in Newsweek, February 25, 2008 issue

Mitt Romney, Republican presidential candidate

[My favorite novel] is a book called Battlefield Earth.  It was a very fine science fiction book.

-- from an interview on Fox News's "Road Trip with Martha"

Tim Gunn

Resolve the skirt.

Larry Wilmore

Have you been to Maine?  It’s so white, they think Lutherans are colored.