Quotes calendar

Jon Stewart

On the word "elite" and running for president:

I know elite is a bad word in politics. You want to go bowling and throw back a few beers. But the job you're applying for -- if you get it and it goes well -- they might carve your head into a mountain. If you don't actually think you're better than us, then what the fuck are you doing? ... [N]ot only do I want an elite president, I want someone who is embarrassingly superior to me.

Flann O'Brian

I knew that I liked this bicycle more than I had ever liked any other bicycle, better even than I had liked some people with two legs.

-- from the novel The Third Policeman

Today in 1931

Today in 1931, Al Capone was indicted on 5000 counts of perjury and bribery.  Enjoy baseball and other enthusiasms today.

Stay Alive 305

The keyboard of the iPod Touch and iPhone is the best keyboard of all time.  Mathematicians must have come up with the that sh*t!  It's ****ing awesome!!!

--- from the forum ilounge; January 25, 2008

Randy Pausch

It’s more important to do the right things adequately, than to do the wrong things right.  It doesn’t matter if you polish the underside of the banister really, really well.

-- from his lecture on time management (check out the dude in the audience picking himself around 52 minutes in)

Tiny Ewell

I began to know shame, and to know it as grandiosity’s aide-de-camp. 

-- from David Foster Wallace's novel Infinite Jest

Barborinski Brothers Trucking Company

"We're just a bunch of salty sailors on a concrete sea." -- their slogan

President Richard Nixon

Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.

--- from the speech he prepared in case Apollo 11 did not make it back safely

Anonymous

No, really.  Two or three days with a woman is my absolute maximum.  After that I start to dissimilate.

Today in 1869

The vacuum cleaner was patented today in 1869.  Suck today.