Quotes calendar

John Hodgman

For a period of time, I worked as a cheesemonger in London. It was a marvelous time in my life. If you are a 19 year old but you want to look like a fat 45 year old, here's a tip: try working around really amazing English cheese five days a week.

Pedro

I went as a bag lady.  It was my hope to represent all that is repugnant in humanity.  People said it was a really funny costume, so maybe it was a success.

-- on his Halloween costume

Zippy the Pinhead

Who is to say which is the mask and which is the thing in itself?

--- asking a deep question about Halloween costumes

Kevin Smith

I [am writing] a new [comic] book: “Batman: cacophony”.  Batman faces off against a character called Onomatopoeia.  His shtick is that he doesn’t speak, he just mimics the noises you can print in comic books.

Apu

There comes a time in every man's life when he has to ask himself, `Who is going to float my corpse down the Ganges?'

Warren "Batso" Harding

Hey, let me buy you a beer and a dead chicken.

-- his method of convincing Steve Roper to join him on the first ascent of the East Face of Washington Column (now known as Astroman)

Homer Simpson

Just give me some ice cream.  And how about one that's not touching your ass.

Jacob Weisberg

As with any failure, inquest is central to improvement.   

--- his comment on the current financial debacle, but it works just as well for other things

Kumar Patel

First thing you should do when you get to America is buy yourself a device called a TiVo.  Freedom means nothing if you’re a slave to regular television, I promise you that.

Anonymous

Stem holds are a crack climber's best friend.