Elvis Aron Presley died today in 1977. Ask the President for a special meeting today.
Napoleon Bonaparte was born today in 1769. Ask your significant other not to bathe today.
Nixon resigned today in 1974. Be a comedic genius today. And get a surgeon to remove that hump.
Warren G. Harding died today in 1923. Don't let your wife poison you today.
Independence Day. Shoot a redcoat today.
James Garfield shot (1881). Leave no lasting legacy other than a stupid comic strip, yet still have your face on a dollar bill today.
Today in 1931, Al Capone was indicted on 5000 counts of perjury and bribery. Enjoy baseball and other enthusiasms today.
President Andrew Johnson was found not guilty (following impeachment) today in 1868 for firing his Secretary of War (a.k.a. Defense).
Gamble in an Indian casino today.